How to Tell Others You Have OCD: Asking for Support
Part 6 of a 6-Part Article Series on Revealing Your Diagnosis
This is the final article of a 6-part series. While this article can be read and understood on its own, I recommend first reading the previous parts for full context:
The first step in receiving support
The decision to reveal one’s OCD diagnosis is often motivated by a need to receive support from others. Sometimes people desperately want and need support, but when they are fortunate enough to interact with someone capable of offering it, they aren’t entirely sure how to ask for it or what to ask for. I’ve been in this situation in the past and I’ve seen others struggle with it too. I hope this article can offer some guidance if this is a challenge you’re dealing with.
The first step in receiving support from someone requires a vulnerable leap of faith; in its essence, it looks something along the lines of this: “I need support. Would you be willing to help me?” This simple and straightforward question can be terrifying because it’s an admission you cannot effectively cope on your own and it opens up the potential for painful rejection around a disorder that may already be filled with secrecy, guilt, and shame. It’s hard to be vulnerable, but vulnerability is a necessary step to receive the kind of genuine support you’re wanting and needing for OCD recovery.
The second step in receiving support
If someone is able and willing to support you, the next step is letting them know what kind of support you need. This part can also be tough because it requires awareness around how OCD impacts you, knowledge about what is truly supportive for OCD recovery (vs. what is enabling), and the self-confidence to ask for specific things. As I mentioned in a previous part of this article series, asking for support is not a single conversation, but rather a series of conversations that will evolve as your needs around OCD change. To help you develop a practical framework for understanding and communicating your needs, I recommend the book Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg (it’s not specific to OCD, but it’s helpful for virtually any person who wants to improve how they navigate vulnerable conversations).
The balance between self-support and support from others
While everyone with OCD deserves support, others can only help you to the extent you’re able and willing to help yourself, so it’s important to be your own biggest support in your OCD recovery. If one consistently receives support from others without supporting oneself, codependent patterns will arise, which are ultimately unhelpful for both parties and will prolong recovery for the person with OCD.
OCD resources can help you understand what kind of support you need
To learn about effective strategies for self-support and to consider what kind of support you’d like to receive from others in regard to your OCD recovery, it’s helpful to spend time researching OCD resources, which can include: books, podcasts, websites, peer-reviewed research, and blogs (like the one you’re reading). Here are some OCD-specific resources I’ve found helpful:
https://iocdf.org/ (website with multimedia resources)
https://www.treatmyocd.com/ (website with multimedia resources)
https://theocdstories.com/ (podcast)
Here are some non-specific sites that are helpful as well:
https://scholar.google.com/ (search engine for scientific literature where you can find a wealth of peer-reviewed information about OCD, for example one can search for keyphrases like, “therapy for OCD”, “medication for OCD”, or “genetics of OCD”)
https://www.youtube.com/ (YouTube is helpful for finding long-form content about OCD recovery from clinicians and individuals with OCD)
Just like the above resources may be helpful for you, they may also be helpful to share with others who are wanting to support you. You can ask what kind of learning style the other person has (or you might already know) and send them the appropriate resources. For example:
For visual learners, offer videos that display diagrams, charts, and pictures.
For reading learners, offer books and articles.
For auditory learners, send podcasts, links to audiobooks, or videos that involve people speaking.
For analytical and scientifically-minded learners, send peer-reviewed research papers or links to clinical websites.
If you’ve read this far, thank you for your most valuable resources – your time and attention. Please subscribe to this blog if you find my content helpful. If you believe my content may be beneficial for others, please share it. This blog is free and requires a lot of time and effort, so knowing people are interested in it will motivate me to continue writing. Also, feel free to add your insights or questions in the comments section below this article. May all who have OCD find their best path to recovery.